‘It’s not me, it’s you’, she had said. She had looked at you in pity, down in Donnie Darko’s good ol’ fashioned downtown’s diner, where you two first met. You thought she was different, unique. Why else would she have been in that shabby ol’ jazz diner? At the time, you thought you could lose some abstract theory just for fun or even your sense of loneliness in her. You thought she would definitely understand that kind of complex loneliness, those various vibes of melancholic depths one can find in some minds, … minds like yours. You thought her mind was definitely as dangerously ‘complex’ as well, as some more unaware minds would often like to call it.
‘I hope you find somebody to love‘.
But she wasn’t a fit.
Didn’t fit your lid. She was looking for a more stable, less complicated, more down-to-earth kind of thing. She didn’t want another lonely loveless genius playing dark tunes throughout the apartment’s floors all night long. No matter how lovely the pianist.
‘I hope you find somebody.‘
Her voice keeps ringing in your head. The audio going up and up and up; like an echoing record in an antique stereo, going on and on somewhere in a hidden drawer in the randomly placed boxes of your mind, a drawer you simply cannot really find, let alone open. And even the piano you have always found worth playing on, the piano you’re playing right now, these good old favourite ivory buttons of yours, … not even your piano can help you get rid of that omniscient melancholy you always feel, and of this specific melancholic vibe, in which you not only feel but know that what you are looking for is simply too hard to find.
For what she said has been said a million times by now. By family, friends, girlfriends and the like. And they all said so in great pity. And with a little smile. They all said so with their faces alike. And the thought of it being true, that there is indeed not a right fit for you, simply because, well, you are you, and that, really, it is just you, here, both on the piano and off, alone in the head for all eternity, is the only truth you really, really, REALLY would love to see converted to one very large pile of a 100% plain ignorance.
Director of this Music Video: ?Syco Music